First Christmas

It's hard to believe we are experiencing another "first." We are so incredibly blessed! Our sweet boy loves music and we have had Christmas music playing a lot. To me, the best Christmas music is NSYNC haha! My husband would say otherwise but I love my good ole' NSYNC Christmas cd. While listening, All I Want Is You This Christmas began to play. This part really stuck out to me:

It's been a long year but somehow we got by. Now it's Christmas Eve and love is on our side. I don't need a hundred gifts beneath the tree, don't you know the best thing you could give to me? Nothing else will do, all I want is you this Christmas.

I know they had a much different purpose for this song but this pretty much sums up how I feel. He is the best gift I have ever received and I am so excited to spend his first Christmas with him!

Our sweet boy has been sick for what feels like forever. He has had multiple ear infections and some yucky junk in his right lung. We were back at the doctor yesterday and his lungs were clear, thank goodness! His ears were still a mess so we are going to try a different antibiotic. Please pray for our sweet boy and that he will be healed. It breaks this momma's heart when he sick. He sure does love extra snuggles when he isn't feeling well and I will take all of those I can get!

The doctor's always ask if he has lost his appetite and we always laugh when they ask us this question. Our boy LOVES food! He would eat all day if we would let him. We laughed and laughed at dinner when he figured out it was quicker to not use your hands when you eat.

Our boy is spoiled rotten and loved by so many! He has already gotten some awesome Christmas gifts! He hates the wrapping paper but once momma gets them unwrapped he is a happy boy! We are excited to spend more time with family and get to experience all of the excitement that comes along with the "First Christmas."

Our boy loves listening to the Pentatonix and especially The Little Drummer Boy. Enjoy his short version :)
We wish you a very Merry Christmas!

What a Weekend

We had a very exciting weekend in our house! Our sweet boy turned 11 months old on Saturday, we celebrated Tyler's birthday on Sunday and Monday we celebrated two years of marriage! We are so blessed!

Our sweet boy is growing up so fast and this momma is having issues! He is at such a fun age but this momma knows he will never be this small again. He is all over and has started walking. He cannot make it a long distance but he is definitely getting where he wants to go. We are so excited to celebrate his first Christmas with him. My big boy has his first "school" Christmas party on Friday! Momma was so excited to wrap his present but then became very sad realizing he would be opening his first present and we wouldn't be there to watch him so…we cheated and opened one tonight :)

It's hard to believe that the next time my precious boy wakes up on the 13th, it will be his birthday! Where has the time gone? The love we feel for this sweet boy is indescribable. We thank God every day for choosing us. We spent a lot of time this weekend reflecting on our past year of marriage and how crazy it has been. One month and two days after celebrating our one year anniversary we became parents. That was never part of "our" plan but we are so thankful it is never in our time. We talked about how much life has changed but that our life is incredible the way it is. Keep praying, the prayers are being answered!

 Christmas diaper and rolls for days!

 Finally has enough hair to spike!

My sweet boy loves to look out the window!

A very special ornament hanging on our tree this year! Thankful for friends who love our boy!

Never a Dull Moment

Eventful would be an appropriate word to describe our last few days. A few weeks ago I had an overwhelming feeling to ask about court. I asked our worker and he was unsure of the date and I asked the ongoing worker and the date was December 3. I had originally thought court would not occur again until January so this threw me for a loop. I tend to over think things so this sent me into a panic. Our worker encouraged that I attend court since we are nearing the 12 month mark. I talked to Tyler but he was unable to attend due to a conference with school. I was a nervous wreck thinking about attending court by myself so I was unsure if I would attend. I decided that I would and was so thankful that my sister offered to go with me. She kept me so calm and provided great entertainment. Court was scheduled for 10:30 and we arrived around 10. A long day would be putting it nicely. We sat in the waiting area for about 5 hours until we were finally called in. As I entered the court room I was shaking and my heart was racing. I was unsure of what I would hear and I just kept praying for peace. Court was not at all what I expected and I had no idea what twists and turns would occur. Without providing too much information, one of our prayers was answered which we are so thankful for. We are not "home free" yet but things are looking up. I cringe even writing that because it always seems to be 1 step forward, 5 steps back.
I spent a lot of time in prayer before court and have spent a lot of time since. My Grandma always provided the best insight and words of encouragement and times like these I miss her the most. I know she could have calmed me down in an instant and would be praying continuously for us. When I need her the most she always has a way of letting me know she is here. I was scrolling through Pinterest and saw this picture.

I couldn't help but smile when I saw it. When I was little my Grandma gave me a card that had the scripture about the mustard seed and also had a mustard seed attached. She would remind me as I was growing up that all I needed was faith as small as a mustard seed. What an appropriate reminder for this journey we are on.
In the midst of the craziness at court, I received a call that our sweet boy was sick AGAIN! We had just been to the doctor on Monday with ear and eye infections. He has been taking antibiotics and seemed to be on the mend. Wrong! He had vomited and needed to be picked up within the hour. Well I had already waited for over 2 hours at that point and really didn't want to miss the court hearing. Tyler was attending his conference so thankfully he left early to get him. I stayed home with our sweet boy today and enjoyed the extra snuggles. We are praying he is healthy soon!
We spent lots of time playing and reading today. I was so excited to be able to set up his new nativity scene. It was so neat watching him explore and to watch his face the first time it played "Away In A Manger."

He has been giving lots of hugs and kisses recently and kept kissing his puppy tonight. He is the sweetest boy and we continue to pray for God's will to be done in his life. We pray for everyone involved and ask that you continue to pray for the situation. Big decisions will be made in the coming months and we need strength and peace. Our hearts belong to this boy and we are so thankful to be his parents. 

Thankful

As I sit on my couch writing this, I have a wonderful, loving, forgiving, and caring husband resting in our room. I am watching my sweet, precious boy on the monitor as he so peacefully sleeps. Tomorrow is a time of giving thanks but shouldn't that be every day? Every day I wake to a warm house, food to eat, clothes to wear, and a family who loves me even at my worst and I am truly thankful.

Before you continue reading, please click on the click to read a short blog post that I recently came across. http://www.foreverymom.com/mother/

The blog posted above is the harsh reality of foster care. I am continuously conflicted and I feel so many emotions at once. I am so angry at his birth mom for making the choices she did and leaving this baby's life in limbo. I am enraged when I see that she is in jail again. More than my anger, I am sad, my heart breaks for her. She has never seen him crawl, she has never fed him baby food, she has never rocked him to sleep, she has not gotten to do so many things that I have. I am eternally grateful that I was chosen to join the crazy world of foster care and that I was chosen to be his momma. It has been the most difficult ten months I have ever had, I have been at my weakest, and I have also been at my best. I have ugly cried more times than I can count and I'm not finished yet. I have often times said that I do not believe I am strong enough to do this but it amazes me because I always come through stronger than before. That isn't because of anything I did except surrender my life to Christ. Like the woman in the blog, I was given a gift, the gift of the Holy Spirit.

Tomorrow is another first for us, our sweet boy's first Thanksgiving! My heart is so full knowing that we get to celebrate another holiday with him. We have had ten months with our sweet boy and we have cherished every single second. Our house is full of laughter, hugs, kisses, snuggles, stories, and prayers. Our sweet boy giggles constantly and has a smile that is contagious. He melts your heart with his precious grin and his wide, curious eyes. We are blessed beyond belief to have the opportunity to be his mommy and daddy. When he reaches for me and lays his head against my chest my heart skips a beat. There is no greater feeling than being a momma and knowing for that moment that everything in the world is as perfect as can be.
*Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
1Thessalonians 5:16-18

For everyone who prays for us, we thank you. It means the world to us that you take time to remember us and to lift us up in prayer.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Ten Months

Ten months ago today we were home on a snow day and we received a phone call that changed us forever. Ten months ago today I met the sweetest boy who stole my heart and I became a momma. Today, I am home on a snow day watching my sweet ten month old boy crawl all over, pull up, take a few steps, and eat big boy food. I never knew I was capable of loving someone the way that I love him. When I walked into the hospital ten months ago and saw that precious baby laying there I was changed. My whole world shifted to that tiny boy. That sweet boy isn't as tiny anymore but he has my heart.

I recently heard Garth Brooks new song, "Mom." I was an absolute mess listening to this beautiful song. It wasn't a coincidence that my phone rang ten months ago for this sweet baby, God knew all along I was supposed to be his momma. A verse in the song says "So hush now little baby, don't you cry cause there's someone down there whose only goal in life is to make sure you're alright." I constantly think about my sweet baby when I'm not with him, I wonder what he is doing, if he is ok, and count down the minutes until I can see him again.

We have had a rough week with sickness and it has broken my heart. He started with a cold, then had belly issues, and ended with a fever and earache. I wanted to make him all better but I couldn't. I couldn't heal him but we had lots of extra snuggle time which was wonderful for both of us. Last night he couldn't sleep so we were standing at the window watching the snow fall. He kept moving his hands and I snuggled him a little closer and his sweet, chunky hand wrapped around my finger and he went right to sleep. Moments like that fill my heart with so much joy and happiness. I never knew being a momma would be this wonderful.

We have enjoyed our day off today and it's hard to think that just ten months ago we were sitting here with a new baby. We still have a long way to go but are enjoying every minute of our time together. Please keep praying for everyone involved.

 What is this stuff momma?

Growing Too Fast

Our sweet boy had his 9 month check up last week and he is doing great! He is 22 lbs and 9 oz! No wonder my back hurts! He is on the go and there is no slowing him down. He is onto the next thing before I can blink my eyes. He is a ball of energy and so much fun! He constantly has us laughing. He has figured out there are some things he isn't allowed to have and always finds a way to get them with a big mischievous grin on his face.
Our sweet boy is a lion for Halloween and he is the cutest lion  I have ever seen. We had a family birthday party last night and we dressed up as lion tamers. Our beautiful niece was also a lion because she wanted to match our sweet boy. Today was a beautiful day and we spent lots of time outside. We went to the park and spent sometime in our backyard. I love watching my sweet boy explore. He is so curious and I can constantly see the wheels in his head turning.
Our sweet boy is such a blessing. He is such a good baby and makes everyone smile. He has the best personality and makes me so happy. I am so thankful God chose me to be his momma (at least for now).

 These chunky legs are ready to walk!

Best part of my day is snuggling with my boy!

 Sweet chubby hands!

Perfect Weekend

I was off work Thursday and Friday for fall break and I was so thankful for an extended weekend. Thursday was a lazy day and those are always needed! I was surprised Friday morning with a trip to get a massage which was amazing! We were very thankful to have the opportunity spend a lot of time with friends and family while we were off.
Today was wonderful! We went to church and our sweet boy was perfect. We had lunch with friends after and he was quite the entertainer. We played for awhile when we got home and then all 3 of us put on our comfy clothes and snuggled up in bed together. Our sweet boy took an extra long nap and mommy and daddy might have had one too! It was so nice for all of us to be snuggled up together just enjoying our time together. I am sad that our break is over but I know we need to get back into routine. 
Our weekend was so different after having the news from court. We were both so much more relaxed and at ease. We know our sweet boy will be here with us through the holidays and we are so blessed to have that time with him. He is as rotten as they come but I wouldn't have it any other way :)

Our sweet boy looked so handsome in his plaid button up and jeans :)

A Real Update

I finally received some information regarding court. Yay! The worker told me that a paternity test has been ordered (finally) and that neither parent showed up for court on Monday. To me, this speaks volumes about how "invested" they are. We will continue with no visits which is a relief to us! With everything that has happened we did not think visits would start again but you just never know. We have gone almost two months without a visit  and it has been wonderful!
We are so thankful that it seems to be moving in the right direction. We know we still have a long road ahead of us and things can change but for right now we are beyond happy. Our God is an awesome God and we know he's not finished with us yet!

This boy was all smiles when he heard the news :)

Update

I would love to give you an update except I don't really have one. I have emailed and called with no response. Our worker did respond and all he said was he didn't know anything so he is assuming everything is the same. That is not a good enough answer for me so I am hoping the supervisor who attended court will contact me tomorrow. If not, I will continue to call her until she talks to me! Persistence is key!
We appreciate your prayers and everyone who has asked about court. We are praying for good news tomorrow!!!

Please Pray

Court is tomorrow! Ugh I hate court days! We ask that you pray for clarity for everyone involved and our sweet boy is the priority. Through all of the craziness one of the workers has quit so someone new will be representing the case in court and we pray they have all of the necessary information.

We have had a wonderful weekend with our sweet boy. Full of laughs, snuggles, and fun! He is growing so quickly and he brings so much happiness to our life. The thought crossed my mind tonight as I was rocking him, what if I don't have many more days of doing this? He is ours in every meaning of the word except he truly isn't "ours." We could be told he is going home and that would be it, no more snuggles, no more giggles, no more kisses, no more anything. It makes me sick to even type that. I just truly cannot imagine life without him but I know that I have to try my best to be prepared for anything. God knows our hearts and knows our desires. We would love more than anything to be his forever mama and dada. It has been almost 9 months since we laid eyes on a handsome 6 pound 2 ounce baby boy that has become our everything. That day was filled with so many emotions but the greatest emotion was love. I had never loved someone in the way that I was immediately in love with him. I knew from the moment I saw him my life would never be the same. I had always wanted to be a mama but in that instant I became a mama. My days revolve around him and I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Chaos would be a great way to describe the past few weeks with the case and we pray that everything is settled very soon. Tomorrow is a big day and it could go several different ways. We know that God is in control and when we hand everything over to Him great things happen. We ask that you pray for us and strength through the day. I am always waiting on pins and needles and we may have to wait until Tuesday for information. More than anything we ask that you pray for our sweet boy and his wellbeing. I will update when we receive information!`

Faith and Hope

Two weeks have passed since I last posted a new blog. We now have 6 teeth, say dada, and moves so quickly! I had a lot of special quality time with my boy yesterday. I snuggled him while he napped, we sat on the swing and just listened to the birds and talked, and we took a walk through the neighborhood. It was so nice to be able to have that time with him and to clear my head. Court is this morning regarding visitation and we are praying for everyone involved. It has been so nice not having visits and we are a little on edge wondering what will happen today. We know it's in God's hands and he will protect us all.

In just a few weeks "big court" will be occurring and that is always a rough time for us. Things have been so crazy that we never feel prepared. We are trusting and having faith. He fits in our family perfectly and life without him doesn't seem possible. It's hard to not get caught up in thinking about first Christmas, first birthday, and all of the other major events that will be happening. I can't imagine him not being here but I know I have to try my best to be prepared for everything. 

We ask that you continue to pray for all of us. Pray a special prayer this morning for court and for the well being of our sweet boy. 

Where Has the Time Gone?

Our sweet boy turned 8 months old on Saturday and he ended 7 months with a bang! He now has 3 teeth and decided on Friday he was going to crawl! He had been inch worming around but he has finally figured it out. He is all over and very fast!  He is such a happy boy and jabbers nonstop. We have heard a few of what we think are dadas and mamas but he always stops before we can really decide. He is also pulling himself up and I need time to slow down!
Our big boy needed new clothes for fall so we went shopping this weekend. He was wonderful going in and out of stores and going out to dinner. Yesterday we had a lazy day and it was great. We stayed in our jams and played. He loves to "hide" which is lots of fun. He laughs so hard and it fills my heart with joy. He has been very snuggly and I could sit all day and snuggle him up.
A lot has happened in this case recently and we are thankful to see God at work. Court is a month away and we know ultimately the judge makes the decision. This has not worked in our favor before but our workers have assured me they are trying. We love our sweet boy more than we knew possible and I cannot imagine not having him in my life. It is out of our hands and we know that. We will enjoy our time as a family and continue to pray that God's will be done.

What's in here mama?

Uncertainty

We are currtenly just living in uncertainty. Each day presents lots of ups and downs and we never know what to expect. I would say things have been crazy but that would be an understatement.
We are thankful to have had extra time with our sweet boy recently and pray that it continues. He is moving all over the place, has gotten a top tooth and loves to eat! He is blowing kisses, loves to read books, and is such a happy boy.
God's work has really been evident and we are beyond thankful. We want our sweet boy to be safe and God is ensuring that happens. There is still a long road ahead of us and we will continue to pray without ceasing. We know God will protect all of us and has a plan that is far greater than we can imagine.
We ask that you continue to pray for our sweet boy. We also ask that you pray for the workers, the judge who will be ruling in the case, and all others who will influence the decisions. We are trusting and having faith that it will work out the way it is supposed to. Romans 8:28 is continuously in my head and I am comforted by that. Everything just feels right and like he is meant to be here. We would be honored to be his forever parents but until that time we are loving being his momma and daddy.

 I have so much fun playing but it is tiring crawling all over!

The best part of my day, snuggling with my boy!

So comforting knowing this :)

Tomorrow

As I am writing this I am looking at toys on the floor, baskets of laundry waiting to be put away, I know there are dishes waiting to be cleaned  but all I am worried about is this precious boy in my arms sleeping.  I know he should be in his bed but this momma is struggling and everything feels right when he is in my arms. Tomorrow is the first day of school for me. Tomorrow  all of the mess will still be here but my boy  will not be in my arms snuggled. We have been transitioning to daycare and he has done awesome. I know he is loved and they take great care of him but I like him right here with me. I know that one day my sweet boy won't want to be snuggled and I want to soak up every single second I can.
The situation is still crazy and an important date has come and gone. This date would determine a lot but  the person did not follow through. Now everything is up to  someone else and I hope they are aware of the importance. I know this is vague and I apologize for not being able to disclose more. We ask for your continued prayers.

What Would You Do?

I looked at the clock this morning and panicked because I didn't hear our sweet boy. I searched frantically for the monitor to check on him and then I remembered...he isn't here. My heart instantly sank as I remembered I won't get my morning snuggles and my day won't be started with his sweet smiles. I tossed and turned last night wondering if he was ok . I was so tired but  my mind wouldn't rest. I started praying because I knew God was with our sweet boy and would give me the strength I needed. Our God is truly an awesome God!
Each time we think we cannot be surprised anymore something happens to change our minds. I am constantly asking "What would you do?" I have continued to ask that question and take each answer to heart and truly consider everything I am told but I have started asking, "What would I want someone to do for me?" I have had to put myself in our sweet boy's position and think about my future and think about what I would have wanted someone to do for me. This sweet boy is helpless and I have to be his voice. I have to fight for him, his rights, and what's best. That's what I would want someone to do for me. I don't ever want to look back and think I could have done more. This sweet boy deserves the world and while he is with me I will make sure  he has it.
School will be starting soon and I am trying to enjoy every single second I can. I am so sad thinking about not spending every day with him. We have been so blessed to have the summer together and I am so thankful we have had so much time together. I love this sweet boy more than I ever knew I could love someone. I see God working in our situation daily and I know he isn't finished with us yet!
Keep Praying!

Jeremiah 29:11

We survived our first overnight. It was as horrible as I had expected. When your whole life revolves around one precious angel and then they are not there you just feel lost. I held it together all day on Friday until it was almost time to take him. I stood in the kitchen holding my sweet boy and sobbing as Tyler had his arms wrapped around both of us praying. We could not wait to get him back home with us and neither of us wanted to put him down.
As the end of summer is coming we are both a mix of emotions. We have gotten used to having all day with our boy and now our time will be limited. We haven't even started school and I am ready for a day off so I can snuggle! We know it will be good for all of us to get back into a routine but who doesn't like staying in their pjs and playing with a precious baby!
I often say that we are constantly praying for our hearts to be prepared and for peace. As I clicked through Pinterest yesterday both of these showed up.

Last night after laying our sweet boy down for bed I really started thinking. How do you prepare your heart for heart break? How do you have a peace about one of the biggest blessings in your life going away? How do you go back to life as it once was? How do you hold it together when you are falling apart? Life just feels right with him in it. Our family feels perfect just the way it is. We know that God is working in the situation and in all of us. We know that He will give us the strength we need and answers in His time.
This sweet boy has turned our world upside down and in the best way possible. He brings a happiness to my life that I never knew existed. His sweet smile and giggle makes the worst day the best. His snuggles make me want to freeze time and stay like that forever. The first moment that I saw him I was in love and he had stolen my heart. 6 months and 12 days later, that love is even stronger then I could have imagined.
If only for a short time, this boy has been loved more than he will ever know. He has been prayed for by people that have never had the opportunity to meet him and has made us happier than we thought we could ever be.
Jeremiah 29:11 is the verse we continuously turn to and we know that God has plans to prosper all of us! Keep praying!

Changes

Our sweet boy went for his well check this week. He weighed in at a whopping 19 pounds 11 ounces! The doctor said he was perfect as we already knew. He is ready to move but still can't quite figure it out. He is not giving up though!
Every night since January 17 we have went to sleep as a family of 3. Tonight will be our first night going to bed without our sweet boy here. Tomorrow morning we will not wake up to his precious "talking," we will not see his sweet smile when we go into his room, and we will not get our morning cuddles. Tonight he will have his first overnight visit. We have so many emotions and thoughts about this but we are handing them over to God. He will keep our sweet boy safe and will give us the strength we need. He has not even left yet and we are more than ready to get him back home.

We Won't Be Shaken

If you haven't noticed I always have a song that I associate with my mood, events of the day, or just a song playing in my head that is applicable to life at that moment. The song of the night is We Won't Be Shaken by Building 429. It has been on repeat since I got an email from the social worker regarding court. Court did not go the way we had hoped but we still have complete faith and trust. We know that with what occurred today he is one step closer to returning home. We pray that if him returning home is part of the plan that God prepares our hearts and gives us the peace to know he is safe and where he needs to be. We will continue to love and devote ourselves to this sweet boy as long as we can.
After reading the email, we both became very down. We were out on a walk as a family and upon returning home we just sat outside on the swing. I was a mess and trying to talk about what I was thinking but of course it was difficult to understand through my tears. After sweet boy's bath tonight I just sat and snuggled him. He put his precious, chunky hands on my cheeks and kept giving me "kisses." He would look at me with his bright eyes and smile. I think he knew his momma really needed some extra snuggles tonight.

We appreciate all of the encouraging messages we received tonight. Thank you for your prayers and please continue to pray for everyone involved, especially our sweet boy.

Don't Wanna Miss A Thing

The Aerosmith song "Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" is on repeat in my head this morning. I'm sure it was written for different purposes but it is so applicable to our life right now. Today is another court day and we should have a better understanding of how much time we have with our sweet boy. This day quickly approaches and has been looming over our heads for the past week. We always cherish our time with our boy but knowing it could be ending soon makes each moment that much sweeter. This morning instead of laying him down in his bed for nap time I decided to just hold him and snuggle. Instead of doing laundry this morning, I decided to stay right with him and play. Instead of washing bottles this morning, I decided to sit on the swing with him and sing songs.
Each night after reading our Bible stories we read our favorite book "Wherever You Are My Love Will Find You." I love this book and it is perfect for our situation. It starts by saying: "I wanted you more than you will ever know so I sent love to follow wherever you go." It ends by saying: "You are my angel, my darling, my star and my love will find you wherever you are."  I hope this sweet boy knows that we will love him no matter where he is and that we will never stop thinking about him and praying for him. The selfish side of me hopes my love will just have to go across the hall to his room and not far away but I know that may not be the case.
We know that God is in control and will continue to work in this situation. We pray today and every day that whatever is best for our sweet boy happens and we are given the peace we need.

 Sitting like my momma while we rock together.               Relaxing on the swing this morning.

I didn't want momma to lay me down either.

Pause

Do you ever wish you could pause certain moments in your life? In the midst of all of the craziness there are so many times I wish I could just pause time. This week I have had several of those situations and I just wanted them to last a few seconds longer. Our big boy doesn't like to be cradled anymore and it makes me so sad but there have been two times this week that he has wiggled his way down into my arms. I got to snuggle him and rock him like I did when we first brought him home and it was wonderful. There is nothing greater than his big eyes looking up and you and then slowly drifting to sleep. It truly makes you forget all of the crazy things that are happening. Another moment occurred tonight as I was snuggled in between my sweet boy and my awesome husband. It was completely quiet as we were on the swing in the backyard but it was a time that words were not needed. I just sat there thanking God for all of the blessings and a special thanks for the two boys I was sitting with.
We have had several ups and downs over the past week. There have been lots of tears, lots of prayers, and a lot of questions. I truly have the best husband who lets me cry whenever I need to and he always knows when to leave me and when to comfort me. Through all of my ugly cries and sobbing he proves to me time and time again why I married him. He quotes verses from the Bible in response to my questions and comments, he prays out loud for me as I am breaking down, and he holds me close and promises me that God has a plan for us and we are going to be ok. I am beyond thankful to have this man of God as my husband.
Our big boy will be 6 months old on Sunday. He is such a chunker and has a smile that will melt your heart. He has found his feet and loves to chew on them, he has found his tongue and sticks it out all of the time, and definitely knows how to use his voice. He jabbers and talks non stop! Just another reason we get along so well!
Please continue to pray for everyone involved in the situation. It seems as new information develops the crazier things become. We are enjoying every day we can with this sweet boy and pray they continue!

My toes are so yummy!

Reading a Bible story with mom and dad.

Happy Fourth of July! 

My two new additions, my first teeth!

Growing Up!

My goodness! This sweet boy is growing up so quickly! We were blessed with the opportunity to take him to the beach with us and we left with a baby and came back with a big boy! He has started sitting up on his own and his first tooth also broke through!
He absolutely loved the beach! He loved putting his feet in the water and watching the waves. He was so relaxed and napped every day while we were at the beach. He did an awesome job on the car ride there and back. We couldn't have asked for a better baby to take with us!
We all had a wonderful time on vacation but had a very difficult time leaving. For most people, vacation ending means going back to work. For us, it means back to social workers and visits. It was so wonderful just being a family. We didn't have to worry about dropping him off anywhere or contacting anyone, we just got to enjoy being the three of us. Friday was a very difficult day for me as we started packing to head home. I spent a lot of time crying and praying. I know God has a plan for us but my heart aches thinking about the possibility of giving him back. This week was a real eye opener as to what life could be. We continue to pray that whatever is best for him happens and that our hearts be prepared. We were unsure if he would be able to attend the trip with us and I am so thankful we had the opportunity to take him. We got to experience several "firsts" with him and we are blessed to be his parents. He brings so much joy to our lives and fills our hearts.
We ask that you continue to pray for the situation, his parents, the workers, us, our hearts and most importantly this precious boy.

 Look what I can do!!!

 First time at the beach!

 This is pretty cool momma!

The beach makes me tired!

Chunker!

Well, we officially have a chunker on our hands. We had his well check last Wednesday and our big boy weighed in at 16 pounds 13.5 ounces! He is getting so big! It's hard to believe in 11 more days he will be five months old. He is such a fun baby and constantly has us laughing. He absolutely hates to sit down! He wants us to either hold him and be up and moving or he wants to be standing. He is ready to move! If he could figure it out I know he would just take off.
Nothing new has happened so we are just enjoying every second we can. We have had a crazy visitation schedule which makes it very difficult on us. We just continue to pray that God's will be done.
He had his first experience with a "pool" this weekend. The big pool was still too cold so we put him in a blow up baby pool. The first day he loved it, the second day not so much. He loves his baths so we are hoping he loves the pool too!

Every Little Things Gonna Be Alright

Well the theme song of our house right now is "Every Little Things Gonna Be Alright." We received news today that really surprised us and not in a good way. Our sweet boy is now receiving more time and unsupervised visits with one parent. This is very hard to swallow. We knew when we signed up to do this that this was how it worked but it does not make it any easier. With them moving to unsupervised visits that means he is one step closer to going home. Typing those words just made my stomach flip and my heart race. We are experiencing so many emotions right now but trying to keep our focus on God and having faith that he is going to take care of all of us. We feel selfish for being sad that he is potentially going to be reunited with his birth parents, we feel angry because we have cared for this baby and they have done nothing, we are heart broken because for four months we have had the opportunity to love on this boy and anxious about what is to come. We have a list of questions a mile long but I don't think any answers we are given will take away our emotions. Right now we are just trying to process everything and really enjoy every single second we can with our precious boy. We ask for prayers for all of us and the situation. We pray for those that are in the position to make these decisions and that they are given clarity and see the situation as it truly is, we pray for his birth parents and that if he returns home they will make good decisions and give him the best life possible, and we are constantly praying for this innocent, sweet boy. We ask that you remember all of them in your prayers as well as us as we try to sort through all of the feelings we are experiencing.

Mixture of Emotions

We had a busy but wonderful weekend! Saturday night Tyler and I went out with my mom and step dad to celebrate my birthday and chunky monkey stayed with his Auntie. It took forever but we had great company and I knew our sweet boy was in good hands. Sunday was my first Mother's Day. It was an awesome day that was filled with tons of emotions. I was beyond thankful to receive a Mother's Day gift, Mother's Day cards, and lots of Mother's day texts and phone calls. I appreciated that I was still viewed as a mother and got to celebrate such a special day. I was so excited because it was my first Mother's Day and I got to spend it with my awesome husband, a very special little boy, and family. I was also very sad. Throughout my day I had a lot of highs and a lot of lows. I think I cried as much as much as I smiled. It was a very bittersweet day. I had the joy of celebrating my first Mother's Day but the harsh reality of knowing he isn't mine forever. We had visit which is always difficult but it felt like a knife to the heart on my first Mother's Day. 

Yesterday we celebrated my birthday along with our sweet boy's four month birthday. He is such a blessing to us and I am thankful we got to celebrate another one of his "birthdays." Saturday will make exactly 4 months that we have had him. It seems like just yesterday we received the call that we could come get him!

I found this blog and loved this post. While I was reading it I couldn't help but feel like the author was in my head writing down my thoughts. It's amazing that someone I have never met shares such strong emotions that are so similar to mine. It's comforting to know that what I am feeling is normal and others struggle as well.

http://jasonjohnsonblog.com/blog/the-sovereignty-of-god-in-foster-care#.U3QSeVzfPwI

Having such an exciting but difficult weekend caused me to reflect on a lot. I spent a lot of time praying and just asking for clarity and strength. I reflected on life prior to our sweet baby boy and thought about the heartache we have already endured. Never once have I regretted taking on this challenge. There have been times that I have thought there would be easier ways that would cause so much pain but I know that is not God's plan for me. I was on Pinterest and these two quotes showed up. I had to smile because I knew I was meant to see them.

 

Our handsome boy is changing every day. He is laughing more and more and is so very curious. He is starting to study everything. It is so much fun to watch him learn. We read books every night and he loves to look at the pictures! He is starting to play more with his toys which is very exciting. He will pick things up and most of the time they go straight to his mouth. His teeth have not made it through yet but they are very close!

 If I can get it to my mouth it is going in! Check out the rolls on my arm!

 If there isn't something in my mouth, this is a common sight.

If there isn't something in my mouth, I'm not blowing bubbles, or drooling excessively I will show you my sweet, sweet smile!