Thankful

As I sit on my couch writing this, I have a wonderful, loving, forgiving, and caring husband resting in our room. I am watching my sweet, precious boy on the monitor as he so peacefully sleeps. Tomorrow is a time of giving thanks but shouldn't that be every day? Every day I wake to a warm house, food to eat, clothes to wear, and a family who loves me even at my worst and I am truly thankful.

Before you continue reading, please click on the click to read a short blog post that I recently came across. http://www.foreverymom.com/mother/

The blog posted above is the harsh reality of foster care. I am continuously conflicted and I feel so many emotions at once. I am so angry at his birth mom for making the choices she did and leaving this baby's life in limbo. I am enraged when I see that she is in jail again. More than my anger, I am sad, my heart breaks for her. She has never seen him crawl, she has never fed him baby food, she has never rocked him to sleep, she has not gotten to do so many things that I have. I am eternally grateful that I was chosen to join the crazy world of foster care and that I was chosen to be his momma. It has been the most difficult ten months I have ever had, I have been at my weakest, and I have also been at my best. I have ugly cried more times than I can count and I'm not finished yet. I have often times said that I do not believe I am strong enough to do this but it amazes me because I always come through stronger than before. That isn't because of anything I did except surrender my life to Christ. Like the woman in the blog, I was given a gift, the gift of the Holy Spirit.

Tomorrow is another first for us, our sweet boy's first Thanksgiving! My heart is so full knowing that we get to celebrate another holiday with him. We have had ten months with our sweet boy and we have cherished every single second. Our house is full of laughter, hugs, kisses, snuggles, stories, and prayers. Our sweet boy giggles constantly and has a smile that is contagious. He melts your heart with his precious grin and his wide, curious eyes. We are blessed beyond belief to have the opportunity to be his mommy and daddy. When he reaches for me and lays his head against my chest my heart skips a beat. There is no greater feeling than being a momma and knowing for that moment that everything in the world is as perfect as can be.
*Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
1Thessalonians 5:16-18

For everyone who prays for us, we thank you. It means the world to us that you take time to remember us and to lift us up in prayer.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Ten Months

Ten months ago today we were home on a snow day and we received a phone call that changed us forever. Ten months ago today I met the sweetest boy who stole my heart and I became a momma. Today, I am home on a snow day watching my sweet ten month old boy crawl all over, pull up, take a few steps, and eat big boy food. I never knew I was capable of loving someone the way that I love him. When I walked into the hospital ten months ago and saw that precious baby laying there I was changed. My whole world shifted to that tiny boy. That sweet boy isn't as tiny anymore but he has my heart.

I recently heard Garth Brooks new song, "Mom." I was an absolute mess listening to this beautiful song. It wasn't a coincidence that my phone rang ten months ago for this sweet baby, God knew all along I was supposed to be his momma. A verse in the song says "So hush now little baby, don't you cry cause there's someone down there whose only goal in life is to make sure you're alright." I constantly think about my sweet baby when I'm not with him, I wonder what he is doing, if he is ok, and count down the minutes until I can see him again.

We have had a rough week with sickness and it has broken my heart. He started with a cold, then had belly issues, and ended with a fever and earache. I wanted to make him all better but I couldn't. I couldn't heal him but we had lots of extra snuggle time which was wonderful for both of us. Last night he couldn't sleep so we were standing at the window watching the snow fall. He kept moving his hands and I snuggled him a little closer and his sweet, chunky hand wrapped around my finger and he went right to sleep. Moments like that fill my heart with so much joy and happiness. I never knew being a momma would be this wonderful.

We have enjoyed our day off today and it's hard to think that just ten months ago we were sitting here with a new baby. We still have a long way to go but are enjoying every minute of our time together. Please keep praying for everyone involved.

 What is this stuff momma?