Saturday, August 29, 2015
I Pray For You
I pray for you. I pray for you daily. This day has been weighing on my heart heavily for the past few weeks. I wonder if you even know what today is. Surely you know what today is. One year ago today you told our sweet boy goodbye. I often wonder what went through your mind that day. Did you know that would be the last time you would see him? Did you kiss him extra and hold him a little closer? I am so angry with you, I am so disappointed in you, I am so sad for you, and my heart breaks for you. I am also grateful for you. I wish you knew that you gave us joy, happiness, laughter, patience, understanding and an indescribable love. You gave us all of those things and we find all of them daily in our sweet boy. He is beyond perfect in every single way. I pray that you know he is our world and we love him more than we ever knew possible. I pray that you know we will give him the best life that we can possibly give. I pray that you have a peace about the situation although your heart breaks. I hugged him a little tighter today, I snuggled him a little longer, I kissed him extra, I told him I loved him more than usual and I prayed for you.
Saturday, August 8, 2015
Transition
As we are preparing for school to start we started transitioning back to daycare last week. Overall, he did really well. It's never easy leaving when he is crying and reaching for you but I take comfort in knowing he stops as soon as I leave and has fun playing with his friends. As a nice welcome back gift to daycare, I picked him up on Friday and made a trip to the doctor to find out he has hand, foot, and mouth, quite the gift huh?! So far he is doing pretty good. I can tell he is in some pain but we are trying to keep him as comfortable as we can. I hate that he is sick but have enjoyed all of the extra snuggles and hugs. We are praying it passes quickly and that it is not an extreme case.
As rough as it was to find out he was already sick I am so grateful we are not in the situation we were in one year ago today. Last year on this day we dropped our sweet boy off for his first overnight visit. My heart still races, my stomach flips, and my eyes fill with tears as I think back on what a terribly long night it was. I have never worried as much as I did on that night. We tried to have "date night" but were very unsuccessful. We were constantly checking our email to see if they had emailed us, could not stop talking about him, and were unable to relax. Trying to sleep was impossible. We tossed and turned all night. I kept looking at the monitor and panicking because I didn't see him and had to remind myself that he wasn't with us.
I know with our sweet boy not feeling well that we will not get much sleep tonight either but I am beyond thankful he is in our house, I can be the one to comfort him when he cries, and that I don't have to worry because he is safe with us.
On a much more positive note, I received an email from the ongoing worker this week and we will be moving to a permanency case which means one step closer to adoption! We pray this truly happens when they say it does and there are not any more hiccups along the way! When I read the email I was immediately brought to tears. It was such a relief to know we are finally getting there!
We ask that you please pray for him to start feeling better soon and for our case. We know we will still have several months before anything actually occurs but knowing we are moving to a permanency case is a step in the right direction!
As rough as it was to find out he was already sick I am so grateful we are not in the situation we were in one year ago today. Last year on this day we dropped our sweet boy off for his first overnight visit. My heart still races, my stomach flips, and my eyes fill with tears as I think back on what a terribly long night it was. I have never worried as much as I did on that night. We tried to have "date night" but were very unsuccessful. We were constantly checking our email to see if they had emailed us, could not stop talking about him, and were unable to relax. Trying to sleep was impossible. We tossed and turned all night. I kept looking at the monitor and panicking because I didn't see him and had to remind myself that he wasn't with us.
I know with our sweet boy not feeling well that we will not get much sleep tonight either but I am beyond thankful he is in our house, I can be the one to comfort him when he cries, and that I don't have to worry because he is safe with us.
On a much more positive note, I received an email from the ongoing worker this week and we will be moving to a permanency case which means one step closer to adoption! We pray this truly happens when they say it does and there are not any more hiccups along the way! When I read the email I was immediately brought to tears. It was such a relief to know we are finally getting there!
We ask that you please pray for him to start feeling better soon and for our case. We know we will still have several months before anything actually occurs but knowing we are moving to a permanency case is a step in the right direction!
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