End of 2015

As 2015 comes to a close I can't help but count my blessings. We have had a great year and are looking forward to what 2016 has to offer and praying it includes adoption! We met with the worker yesterday and the new termination paperwork has been filed. She said not to expect to receive a termination date for about 2-3 months. This was very disheartening for us as we had hoped right after the new year we would be given a date. She reassured us that after termination occurs things will move more quickly and we should still have adoption this summer. I am doing my best to not get my hopes up. Each time we are given a potential date it seems to be pushed back another 6 months. I keep reminding myself that it's not in my time, it's in His. We are so ready for this sweet boy to have our last name and to officially be a family. I told the worker that I would love to go on vacation this summer and be able to leave the state without permission and carrying papers with me stating we can have him there. It seems so silly but that means he is ours forever and we can just live our lives without worrying that someone is going to take him.
We were blessed to celebrate several Christmases this year and our sweet boy sure is loved. We decided this year to stay home as a family on Christmas and it was so nice! We started our own traditions and just got to stay in our pajamas and watch our sweet boy open presents. We have enjoyed every second of being with family and also being at home together. There is something special about this sweet boy and you just can't help but be happy when you are around him. He is the sweetest thing and can always make you laugh. He is truly the greatest gift Tyler and I have been given!
We pray 2016 is a blessed year for you and your families! Happy New Year!

 Watching the UK/UL game while grilling on his new grill.

                                                                                                  He loves the trampoline Auntie got him!

Putting out reindeer food on Christmas Eve.                  Hmmm...Are these presents for me?

We loved our matching Christmas pajamas this year!

 Handyman playing with his tool bench.

 Cooking some lunch for us.

You're A Better Mom Than You Think

I recently read an article about being a better mom than you think you are.  God knew how much I needed this article and timed it just right. I had been struggling with feeling like I was absolutely clueless and was failing our sweet boy. I try in everything I do to be a good example for him and to show him right from wrong so when he was coming home from daycare and hitting and yelling I didn't understand and felt helpless. We have spent several minutes over the past few weeks just sitting together and crying because neither one of us really knew what to do. Everyone kept telling me it is just the age, he is in the terrible twos, and he will grow out of it but I was beginning to think there was not an end in sight. I spent countless hours reading articles and books on how to teach him to stop hitting, to be nice, to communicate his feelings effectively, and on and on. I read some articles that made me feel like I truly had it all together and others that made me feel like I had already ruined his life. When I read this article I decided that instead of feeling like I was failing I needed to focus on what I did well that day and the highlights of my time with my sweet boy. That night as I sat and rocked my sweet boy while we finished reading our bedtime stories I asked him he was ready to pray. He looked up at me with his big brown eyes and said "Jesus." In that moment, I knew I had done something right. He repeats a prayer after me each night and always ends with "maymen" then sings "Jesus love." When we sing Jesus Loves Me, he sings along with the first part and gets very still and silent and waits so he can sing "Bible" as loud as he can. In those moments with him in my arms praying and singing, all of the negative of the day was washed away. It didn't matter that he laid in the floor and screamed for what seemed like an eternity, smacked me with his shoe, or he had a complete meltdown in the middle of the mall because we couldn't keep riding the elevator, my sweet boy knows Jesus and that is all he needs to make it through this crazy life.

Just as God put that article in my life on the day I needed it, he also placed a very special family in our lives when we got our sweet boy. This family listened to me cry, listened to me complain, celebrated every milestone with us, and loved my sweet boy as if he was their own before he was old enough to go to daycare. Today, we celebrate with this family as termination occurred and they will be moving forward with adoption. My heart is overflowing with joy and happiness for them. As we continue to await that amazing day, we will celebrate in their happiness!

Here are a few recent pictures. Our sweet boy loves to talk to Santa but wants nothing to do with sitting on his lap. If you ask him what Santa says he says "Wo Wo" so now that is what he calls Santa.

 Attempt #1 to visit "Wo Wo"

 Attempt #2 to visit "Wo Wo"

Decorating a Christmas Tree

Who needs new toys when you can repurpose what you have?!

Through A Child's Eyes

Our greatest hope as we entered the holiday season was to have a termination date. We knew we would not be finished with the adoption process by Christmas but had anticipated a termination date so that as the new year began we could start the adoption process. The worker was here this week and sadly, we will not have a termination date by Christmas. Things seem to always be pushed back but she assured me that once termination occurred things would pick up and we would have a finalized adoption by summer.
As disappointed as we were with this update, it's hard to be upset with our sweet boy around. We are in a much safer place than we were this time last year and for that we are incredibly thankful. Everyone has told me this will be such a fun Christmas because our sweet boy will be so much more aware and they were definitely right. We were out shopping last weekend and he was amazed by all of the Christmas trees and decorations. Watching his bright eyes grow big with excitement and a smile spread across his face moved me to tears in the middle of a store. Tyler thought I was a little crazy but it was one of those moments I have always heard people talk about but have never experienced. Seeing it through a child's eyes and taking the time to just stop and enjoy. We decided that night we were going to put our Christmas tree so when he woke up on Monday morning we could surprise him. I had the camera ready as Tyler went to get him from his bedroom. We told him we had a surprise for him and as he walked out, he rubbed his eyes, and said "Oh wow!" He stood in amazement and then repeatedly said "tree, lights, Wow!" It was the best reaction we could have gotten. Our sweet boy just lays on the floor and looks at the tree and his nativity.
Our hearts are full and we are beyond thankful for our sweet boy. Being his momma makes me happier than I ever thought I could be.
Please continue to pray that our case moves forward and a little quicker than it has been. We are so ready to know without a doubt he is ours forever!

Always Something

Well it has been an eventful few weeks in our house. I received an update from the social worker that was not exactly what we had hope for. The termination paperwork had the first potential dad's name still in it so it was not able to be accepted. The social worker stated in most situations the court would try to serve the second dad before the termination paperwork could be filed again. This was extremely frustrating to me! This will be the third time they have tried to serve him. She also told us the attorney who handles all of the termination paperwork was retiring and someone new would be transitioning it.It just seems like it is always something! I keep reminding myself it is all in His time and I need to be patient!
Our sweet boy is growing like crazy and keeps us laughing every single day. He had a great Halloween and loved his costume. Since he loves trains he was a train conductor and we turned his into a train for him to ride in. When we opened the garage door he said "WOW!" His reaction was priceless and made every single second that we word on his train worth it. He wasn't really sure about all of the strangers but managed to say a few "chickacheets" as we visited houses.
Halloween ended with a trip to the ER for croup which was not fun at all! It has absolutely wiped my sweet boy out this week. He has had 2 doses of steroids and he still feels yucky. It is never fun when they are sick but this momma has enjoyed extra snuggles and time with her boy. We are praying he starts to feel better and we can enjoy the weekend with our sweet boy.

Choo-Choo

Our sweet boy had his follow up appointment at the allergy/asthma doctor and they said he sounded like he had a new set of lungs! This was exactly what we wanted to hear. We are hoping the antibiotic that we just finished is exactly what he needed to clear out the nasty infection. If the infection returns within the next week we will have to schedule an appointment with the ENT to get cultures of the infection. We are hopeful that it is cleared and we will not need to do this.

We also met with both of our workers yesterday Neither one had any new information which is good. We are still anxiously waiting a date for TPR but as with everything else, we know it is in God's time. We asked a timeline for adoption to be completed and they said end of spring. This is way longer than we had hoped for but are beyond thankful to even be discussing adoption. Soon enough he will be ours forever!

After having appointments all day yesterday we had a family day today. Our sweet boy absolutely loves trains! He can hear a "choo-choo-" from miles away and gets so excited. His room is decorated in choo-choos, he has tons of choo-choo- toys, and loves his choo-choo shirts so we decided we would go see choo-choos today. We enjoyed the day at Entertainment Junction and our sweet boy was absolutely amazed. He loved looking at the train displays, riding the train, and playing in the play area. There is nothing like watching our sweet boy's eyes widen with wonder and excitement. We were so thankful to have the opportunity to take him to do something that he loves!

 Playing with the gears on the choo-choo

 Putting the coal in the engine.

Picking his pumpkin from the small pumpkin patch

So Long Sweet Summer

Tomorrow officially marks the end of summer and beginning of fall. Tomorrow also brings another court date. We know this court date will be a review but we are praying things will progress quickly after we attend. We ask for prayers for our sweet boy's future and all of those who have a hand in it. I will update more after we are there.
Thank you in advance for the prayers!

Someone is already missing summer and the pool!

Praises and Prayers

Our new worker came to the house today for a home visit. Normally, I am a mess on these days even though they are routine. My heart races and my stomach is in knots all day but today I was extremely calm. She told us what we have been waiting to hear for so long, the termination paperwork has been filed! Now we wait for a court date for termination and then we can proceed with adoption. We still have several months until all of this can occur but we are one step closer to FOREVER!

We are asking for prayers for our sweet boy. He has been having lots of breathing problems with the weather changing and we were referred to an allergy/asthma doctor. We go tomorrow for a consultation and allergy testing.

As always, please continue to pray for everyone involved in the case. We are getting there!!

 We spent some family time at the zoo and I captured this beautiful picture while on our train ride.

 Sweet boy of course enjoyed his carousel ride.

He would have sat here all day if we would have let him!

Shew! Mondays are rough! He was worn out at nap time while at daycare.

I Pray For You

I pray for you. I pray for you daily. This day has been weighing on my heart heavily for the past few weeks. I wonder if you even know what today is. Surely you know what today is. One year ago today you told our sweet boy goodbye. I often wonder what went through your mind that day. Did you know that would be the last time you would see him? Did you kiss him extra and hold him a little closer? I am so angry with you, I am so disappointed in you, I am so sad for you, and my heart breaks for you. I am also grateful for you. I wish you knew that you gave us joy, happiness, laughter, patience, understanding and an indescribable love. You gave us all of those things and we find all of them daily in our sweet boy. He is beyond perfect in every single way. I pray that you know he is our world and we love him more than we ever knew possible. I pray that you know we will give him the best life that we can possibly give. I pray that you have a peace about the situation although your heart breaks. I hugged him a little tighter today, I snuggled him a little longer, I kissed him extra, I told him I loved him more than usual and I prayed for you.

Transition

As we are preparing for school to start we started transitioning back to daycare last week. Overall, he did really well. It's never easy leaving when he is crying and reaching for you but I take comfort in knowing he stops as soon as I leave and has fun playing with his friends. As a nice welcome back gift to daycare, I picked him up on Friday and made a trip to the doctor to find out he has hand, foot, and mouth, quite the gift huh?! So far he is doing pretty good. I can tell he is in some pain but we are trying to keep him as comfortable as we can. I hate that he is sick but have enjoyed all of the extra snuggles and hugs. We are praying it passes quickly and that it is not an extreme case.
As rough as it was to find out he was already sick I am so grateful we are not in the situation we were in one year ago today. Last year on this day we dropped our sweet boy off for his first overnight visit. My heart still races, my stomach flips, and my eyes fill with tears as I think back on what a terribly long night it was. I have never worried as much as I did on that night. We tried to have "date night" but were very unsuccessful. We were constantly checking our email to see if they had emailed us, could not stop talking about him, and were unable to relax. Trying to sleep was impossible. We tossed and turned all night. I kept looking at the monitor and panicking because I didn't see him and had to remind myself that he wasn't with us.
I know with our sweet boy not feeling well that we will not get much sleep tonight either but I am beyond thankful he is in our house, I can be the one to comfort him when he cries, and that I don't have to worry because he is safe with us.
On a much more positive note, I received an email from the ongoing worker this week and we will be moving to a permanency case which means one step closer to adoption! We pray this truly happens when they say it does and there are not any more hiccups along the way! When I read the email I was immediately brought to tears. It was such a relief to know we are finally getting there!
We ask that you please pray for him to start feeling better soon and for our case. We know we will still have several months before anything actually occurs but knowing we are moving to a permanency case is a step in the right direction!

Waiting Game

I have been waiting to update the blog in hopes of having more information to share.
When we showed up for our meeting we found out that our ongoing worker had quit and a new one had been assigned. The new worker was unaware of the meeting so did not have many answers. I have been waiting for her to get back to me after meeting with her supervisor. We found out they have to continue to pursue the potential father which was a disappointment to us. He has not responded to any contact thus far so we are hoping he will not be interested. We do know it could be approximately 60 days until the court interjects and then once that occurs we could have an additional 2 months for a termination date. Although we had hoped for a termination date by the end of summer we would be thrilled if this happens by the end of the year. I am constantly reminding myself that it is out of our control and God's plan is more perfect than we can even imagine.

 Our sweet boy had his well check last week and he is more than perfect! 30 pounds of goodness who was ahead of everything the doctor asked. The only thing she suggested was that we get rid of the binky which we knew was coming. We decided we would just take it away like we did the bottle and see what happened. Our sweet boy put himself to sleep with no problems and has not asked or cried for a binky. We are so lucky!
We are trying to soak up ever last second of summer. We have been swimming, going to the zoo, snuggling and reading lots of books! We had a great morning and the zoo where our sweet boy and niece got to feed the giraffe, ride the train, and see our favorite Africa exhibit.

Our sweet boy loves to read books and we had to purchase another book shelf to put them on. This small bookshelf is light enough for him to move it around. When it was time to get ready for bed he pushed it to where he was blocked in and could read without us bothering him :)  

We are praying that our sweet boy gets to stay with us forever and that things start to move forward. We are so blessed to have this boy in our life and I never knew I could love someone as much as I love him. My heart feels like it could explode! I am so blessed to be his momma and could have not have picked a better boy if I would have been given the chance.

Family Get Away

A few days after I finished up with school we loaded the car for vacation. We were so excited to get away and this was the first trip we had taken where it was just the 3 of us. We were heading to Florida to see friends get married and also have a nice relaxing week at the beach. This wasn't the first time our sweet boy had been to the beach but it was the first time he would be old enough to play. He absolutely loved it! He played in the sand, loved the waves, and played in the pool. By the end of the week,  he would scoot off the edge into the pool, blow bubbles in the water, and kick his legs when he was on his belly. The only problem with our beach trip was keeping the sand out of sweet boy's mouth! He would have eaten it all day every day if we would have let him! Rotten!

After our week at the beach, we were ready to head to Disney with my sister, brother in law, and niece. Before we checked in there we stopped for a little more beach time with them. Sweet boy loved having Gracey to play with.

Then off to Disney! We weren't sure how sweet boy would do. It was extremely hot and we were worried he would be fussy but he was wonderful! I was amazed how great he did! As we walked through Magic Kingdom it was such a special time. There were several times throughout the day that I would get teary. We both love Disney but sharing that special time with our sweet boy was incredible. We talked about when we were growing up and our parents would always say "I just enjoy watching you." We agreed that we fully understand that after being with him at Disney. His smile and his bright eyes just made everything perfect. He loved the rides and he would giggle as we went up and down on Dumbo, he waved and said hi throughout It's A Small World, smiled while we rode the Teacups, and loved the carousel and the Peter Pan ride. He also got his first hair cut while we were at Disney. He was the best boy ever! He sat so still and never said a word. 

Amazed watching Dumbo for the first time! Last time for his wispy hair!

First haircut complete with special Mickey ears!

The whole vacation was extra special because we didn't have to worry about visitation when we got back. We had the opportunity to fully enjoy time with our sweet boy without worrying. Of course, there is never a day I don't wonder what is to come or if he will go home but for those 2 weeks we pushed those thoughts to the back and just soaked it all in. My heart yearns for the day that I no longer have to have those thoughts. 

When we arrived home we received a letter regarding a meeting that will be taking place on July 13th. We ask for special prayers on this day. I am not sure what to expect but we are hoping for positive news and to hopefully hear we will be moving forward. We have had our boy for almost 18 months and we are ready for permanency! 

God's Plan

As I finish up my school year I am thrilled to know I will be home every day with my sweet boy. We are looking forward to lots of time outside playing and swimming. We have a family vacation quickly approaching and we are excited to get away and relax!
I ask for lots of prayers this week. There are several things that must occur before we can move forward with termination but those steps also open doors for someone else to step forward and take our sweet boy. When I received this information I immediately got sick to my stomach and my heart sank. I immediately went to the worst scenario which is him going home but I have had to remind myself that I am not in control and God has a greater plan. I selfishly hope more than anything that the plan includes us being a forever family. I wish that I could give more information but please just pray for our sweet boy and our family.

Beyond Thankful

We are never guaranteed another day in this life and foster care is a continuous reminder of that. Each day is filled with anxiousness awaiting a phone call that could potentially say your baby is going home. Each night I sigh a sigh of relief and thank God for another day with this amazing boy who has stolen my heart. My first Mother's Day was wonderful and one I will never forget. My second Mother's Day was even more wonderful in so many ways. I didn't need to be showered with gifts to have an amazing day, I just needed my sweet boy. I woke up this morning to the sweetest sounds coming from his room and the word that absolutely melts my heart, the greatest title I have every been given, "Momma." I was greeted with a "Hi Momma", a huge smile, and a big good morning hug. We took a nice walk this morning, just the two of us, and enjoyed listening to the birds chirping and the cool morning breeze. We spent the day with family and enjoyed the beautiful weather. Tonight as I was getting him ready for bed we read our favorite book and I thanked him for making today and every day so wonderful. Normally, he goes right to sleep but tonight he was very restless. He was very fussy which is not like him. I went back in the room to check on him and he held his hands up and smiled. He knew that secretly there was nothing this momma wanted more than to get some extra snuggles and rock her baby to sleep. I snuggled him close and smiled as I watched the most precious boy I have ever met drift off to sleep. 

I have been given many things in this life that I do not deserve and I am always thankful. He is the greatest gift that I have ever been given and I often wonder "why me?" Why was I chosen to take on this journey? Why was I chosen to be such an incredible boy's momma?" Whatever the reason, I am incredibly thankful. This boy has turned my world upside down and I pray it never goes back to the way it was. This Mother's Day, I was extremely thankful that I did not have to "share" him. Each day he is here means he is one day closer to being mine forever. We are still not there but we are getting closer. As always, please continue to pray. 

 Extra snuggles with my sweet boy!

He absolutely loves to be outside!

Growing Up

 Where has my itty bitty baby gone? It seems like overnight he lost his baby look. He officially looks like the very sad T word, a toddler. We went for his 15 month well check this week and he is doing awesome! He finally grew taller! We were so excited to hear that! He was 31.5 inches which put him in the 56% percentile and he weighed a whopping 27 pounds 12 ounces and he was in the 96% percentile.  He is quite the talker and loves to let you know what he thinks. We don't understand his language but he is learning and saying lots of new words. When we start to count he can say two, three. He says choo choo, that, this, out, mama, dada, and bye bye. He is pointing to pictures when we ask him where certain things are. He loves to read! We spent Saturday and Sunday morning snuggled together reading book, it was perfect. He would get a book from his bookshelf, climb into my lap and we would read. When we finished he would throw it in the floor, get up, get a new one and start the process again. There is nothing better than watching his eyes get big and a smile spread across his face when we start reading his favorite books.
We had our first family outing to the zoo and it was wonderful! We spent about 5 hours at the zoo and our boy was wonderful. He took it all in, ate a good lunch and went right to sleep when he was tired. We did not get to ride the train due to his nap but we did get to ride the carousel. He wasn't quite sure what to think about it but he seemed to enjoy it for the most part.
We have adjusted well to being back from break but counting down the days to summer! Our boy absolutely loves it outside and there just isn't enough time in the day when we have to work. We are thankful for jobs that allow us to have breaks so that we can spend time with our sweet boy. We have our vacations planned for the summer and it is nice to have something to look forward to. We will be at the beach for a week and also going to Disney World! We are blessed to have the opportunity to take trips and so thankful our sweet boy will be going with us.
Currently, there aren't many updates on the case. At the end of the month we will complete another step in the process. It will still take awhile but hopefully we will continue in the right direction. Both workers said once the goal is changed to adoption it is usually not changed back which took a little stress away. There's always a chance and I constantly remind myself that. We ask that you continue to pray for our case and that it continues to progress toward adoption. We are getting there! Slowly but surely!

This made me smile! Daddy took his sweet boy to look at the fish while we waited for the doctor :)

 The best big cousin spending some time at zoo with us!

 Enjoying the beautiful weather playing with his water table!

Outta my way Momma!

 Reading books!

Enjoying a Break

I am officially on spring break and i am loving all of the time with my sweet boy! We had a wonderful weekend celebrating Easter with family. Four Easter baskets later I would say our boy is more than loved! We have loved being able to get outside and swing, take walks, and play with bubbles.

Our worker came today for our monthly home visit but had some good insight on where things are headed. As always, he stated anything can happen but things are "overwhelmingly in our favor." YAY! There are still several things that have to occur before we will know without a doubt he will be ours but we are getting there. The ongoing worker will be here tomorrow so I'm going to see if she feels the same way. If everything goes as planned, termination will happen this summer. I get butterflies just thinking about it. I cannot wait for the day that we know he will be ours forever!

Our boy is growing like crazy! He is running everywhere, climbs like a little monkey and has the sweetest smile and giggle. We are hoping to have our first trip to the zoo this week if the weather cooperates. If not, we will go to the aquarium for the first time. He loves to explore and is very curious so I'm hoping he enjoys our day out.

Thank you for your prayers and we ask that you continue to pray for everyone involved.

Swinging is tiring!

 Easter Egg hunt last year...

Easter Egg hunt this year! Where has the time gone?

 All this for me???