Every Little Things Gonna Be Alright

Well the theme song of our house right now is "Every Little Things Gonna Be Alright." We received news today that really surprised us and not in a good way. Our sweet boy is now receiving more time and unsupervised visits with one parent. This is very hard to swallow. We knew when we signed up to do this that this was how it worked but it does not make it any easier. With them moving to unsupervised visits that means he is one step closer to going home. Typing those words just made my stomach flip and my heart race. We are experiencing so many emotions right now but trying to keep our focus on God and having faith that he is going to take care of all of us. We feel selfish for being sad that he is potentially going to be reunited with his birth parents, we feel angry because we have cared for this baby and they have done nothing, we are heart broken because for four months we have had the opportunity to love on this boy and anxious about what is to come. We have a list of questions a mile long but I don't think any answers we are given will take away our emotions. Right now we are just trying to process everything and really enjoy every single second we can with our precious boy. We ask for prayers for all of us and the situation. We pray for those that are in the position to make these decisions and that they are given clarity and see the situation as it truly is, we pray for his birth parents and that if he returns home they will make good decisions and give him the best life possible, and we are constantly praying for this innocent, sweet boy. We ask that you remember all of them in your prayers as well as us as we try to sort through all of the feelings we are experiencing.

Mixture of Emotions

We had a busy but wonderful weekend! Saturday night Tyler and I went out with my mom and step dad to celebrate my birthday and chunky monkey stayed with his Auntie. It took forever but we had great company and I knew our sweet boy was in good hands. Sunday was my first Mother's Day. It was an awesome day that was filled with tons of emotions. I was beyond thankful to receive a Mother's Day gift, Mother's Day cards, and lots of Mother's day texts and phone calls. I appreciated that I was still viewed as a mother and got to celebrate such a special day. I was so excited because it was my first Mother's Day and I got to spend it with my awesome husband, a very special little boy, and family. I was also very sad. Throughout my day I had a lot of highs and a lot of lows. I think I cried as much as much as I smiled. It was a very bittersweet day. I had the joy of celebrating my first Mother's Day but the harsh reality of knowing he isn't mine forever. We had visit which is always difficult but it felt like a knife to the heart on my first Mother's Day. 

Yesterday we celebrated my birthday along with our sweet boy's four month birthday. He is such a blessing to us and I am thankful we got to celebrate another one of his "birthdays." Saturday will make exactly 4 months that we have had him. It seems like just yesterday we received the call that we could come get him!

I found this blog and loved this post. While I was reading it I couldn't help but feel like the author was in my head writing down my thoughts. It's amazing that someone I have never met shares such strong emotions that are so similar to mine. It's comforting to know that what I am feeling is normal and others struggle as well.

http://jasonjohnsonblog.com/blog/the-sovereignty-of-god-in-foster-care#.U3QSeVzfPwI

Having such an exciting but difficult weekend caused me to reflect on a lot. I spent a lot of time praying and just asking for clarity and strength. I reflected on life prior to our sweet baby boy and thought about the heartache we have already endured. Never once have I regretted taking on this challenge. There have been times that I have thought there would be easier ways that would cause so much pain but I know that is not God's plan for me. I was on Pinterest and these two quotes showed up. I had to smile because I knew I was meant to see them.

 

Our handsome boy is changing every day. He is laughing more and more and is so very curious. He is starting to study everything. It is so much fun to watch him learn. We read books every night and he loves to look at the pictures! He is starting to play more with his toys which is very exciting. He will pick things up and most of the time they go straight to his mouth. His teeth have not made it through yet but they are very close!

 If I can get it to my mouth it is going in! Check out the rolls on my arm!

 If there isn't something in my mouth, this is a common sight.

If there isn't something in my mouth, I'm not blowing bubbles, or drooling excessively I will show you my sweet, sweet smile!

Sunshine

Isn't it amazing what sunshine and warm weather can do? It just makes me so happy and I am so thankful. It's amazing looking at the flowers blooming, listening to the birds chirping, and feeling the warm sunshine. We also have our special sunshine that brightens our days. Our favorite song is "You Are My Sunshine" and we always get sweet smiles when we sing it.
We have had a busy week but a wonderful week filled withs special visits. On Thursday night we got to have dinner with two friends who are also fostering. Our precious boy was surrounded by girls but I'm sure he was loving it. We were thankful for the time together, the opportunity to share our experiences, and to show off our babies. Thankful for great friends!
This weekend Tyler's parents came up to visit. Tyler and his dad spent lots of tiring hours working on a new deck so we can enjoy this beautiful weather. Tyler's mom helped a ton around the house and with the sweet boy and I am beyond thankful for that! We loved getting to visit and appreciate their help more than they know!
It's hard to believe next week I will be celebrating my first "Mother's Day', a birthday, and our sweet boy will turn 4 months old on the same day! It will also make 4 months that we have had this precious blessing in our life. We are beyond blessed!
Our sweet boy is cutting teeth and has had some congestion. It breaks my heart to see him not feeling well. We ask for prayers for him and that he feels better soon!
We are still constantly in "limbo" which can be frustrating at times but we have also slowed down a lot and really treasure each day we have. We know that God is in control and it is in his timing. We take comfort in knowing that He has plans for us far greater than we can imagine. I keep this picture on my phone and when I am having a bad day I always look at it, it's a great reminder!

Sweet Baby Giggles

Well this sweet boy is growing up on us! He is all smiles, laughing out loud, talking non stop, holding his bottle, sleeping all night and getting a tooth in! What in the world? Where did the tiny baby go?
We had a wonderful Easter and were thankful to be with him on his first Easter. He received all kinds of Easter surprises and we are thankful he is loved by so many people. He received his first Bible and we all snuggled up together and read the Easter story. We love reading together but reading the Bible together is even more special.
We have had a crazy week and we just ask for prayers. We are keeping our faith and our trust and know this is in God's hands.
Here are some pictures from the weekend. I said I feel like we have our very own Wilson from Home Improvement since we cannot show his face :)

 First Easter Egg Hunt

 Relaxing in the shade on the swing

Shout out to my Auntie!

 Here I Go!

Just hanging out playing

Nothing makes me happier than these giggles!

Three Months Old

Our precious boy is three months old today! Goodness time sure is flying by! He weighs about 14 pounds, talks a ton, smiles like crazy, and has started rolling over! Yesterday, he rolled over twice which was very exciting.
Court was on Thursday and that is always a stressful day for me. The workers informed us that the dad has been dismissed as he was found not responsible for the baby's situation. They are actively investigating the baby's aunt for possible placement. I cannot say that we are excited about this but we want what is best for this sweet boy. All we can do is pray, pray, pray!
We have had a busy weekend but a fun weekend. Friday night, we had a sleepover with our niece. We all went to dinner and then watched Frozen. We spent as much time outside yesterday as we could. After visit we spent time with my sister, brother in law, and niece. Today, we had pictures taken with the Easter Bunny and spent time outside. It has been a beautiful weekend and we have enjoyed every second of it!
We are now preparing for another school week and we are normally exhausted before it even starts. We are thankful for the breeze blowing through our house, the birds chirping, and the time we have gotten to spend together this weekend.

Working on my planks!

 Getting strong so I can crawl.

 I love to stand up!

 I just learned how to blow bubbles.

Worn out from a busy weekend!

Time Flies When You're Having Fun!

It is hard to believe our sweet boy will be 3 months old on the 13th! At his last well check he was almost 13 pounds and had grown 2 more inches! He gets bigger by the minute! He is holding his head up on his own and pushing up while he is on his tummy. He hasn't rolled over anymore but he is getting close! He has quite the personality and is always making us laugh. He is full of silly faces and is always telling stories.

This morning when he finished eating we sat in the rocking chair and listened to the birds together. We talked about the birds chirping, the beautiful sunshine, and the green grass. It's amazing what all of those things can do to your mood. I was instantly happier seeing sunshine and hearing the birds. The sweet boy and I enjoyed our quiet time together taking in all of God's beautiful creations. We enjoyed a nice nap together and got to visit family. It is such a blessing to have the support, love, and encouragement from our family.

We met our ongoing worker this week. She was really nice and seemed to truly have the baby's best interest in mind. They have another court date this coming week which always makes me nervous. At this point, we are told he will continue to stay with us but you never know. We will just continue to pray about the situation and love this sweet thing for as long as we can.

This week I have been in several situations where I have gotten to share our story about fostering. I am thankful for these situations because it provides me with not only an opportunity to educate about foster care but also an opportunity to share about my faith. One conversation has stuck out in my mind all week and I could not figure out why. The person with whom I was speaking said, "He is so lucky to have you, you are going to make a big difference in his life." I responded and thanked her for her kind words and told her that we are truly blessed to have him. Today while driving I finally made the connection. Her statement reminded me of the movie Blind Side. One of the characters said, "You are changing that boy's life." and the responses was, "No, he is changing mine." I did not realize the changes that would take place in my life when this sweet boy entered it. I knew we would be tired, our house would be messy, and I would have a never ending pile of laundry. I never realized the changes that would take place in my heart. That sweet smile can turn the worst day around and just make everything right. There is nothing like snuggling this precious boy. He has no idea the impact he is having on my life.

Dreaming of the beach in our whale outfit!

My big boy outfit!

My handsome outfit for the wedding. 

Momma's favorite smile :)

By far the funniest face yet, he has mastered the pouty lip!

2 Months

Wow! It has been a while since I have updated the blog. We have been so busy with work and when we get home all I have wanted to do was snuggle our precious boy. As of now, he is still with us and we are beyond thankful. We have not had any updates but I guess that's not a bad thing.
Sweet boy turned 2 months old on Thursday and tomorrow will be 2 months that we have had him. It's hard to believe it has been two months! I don't really remember what life was like before he came. It is amazing that in two short months our lives can change so drastically. I have always loved my sleep but when I wake up to sweet smiles and tis precious boy "talking" to me, I will take dark circles under my eyes and exhaustion. He truly has made me see life in a different way and has brought me a happiness I didn't know I was missing. He has tested our faith in many ways but ultimately has helped our relationship with God to grow in so many ways. Our marriage is also stronger than ever. We see each other in a way that we had not before and our love has grown tremendously. We still drive each other crazy sometimes but that will never change :)
For now, we will continue to love this sweet boy and enjoy every second with him. As I was uploading  the pictures this crazy boy just rolled over! I love watching him grow and change every day!

 Thinking about life!

 Sweet boy loves kisses!

 He also likes to give them back!