Thankful

As I sit on my couch writing this, I have a wonderful, loving, forgiving, and caring husband resting in our room. I am watching my sweet, precious boy on the monitor as he so peacefully sleeps. Tomorrow is a time of giving thanks but shouldn't that be every day? Every day I wake to a warm house, food to eat, clothes to wear, and a family who loves me even at my worst and I am truly thankful.

Before you continue reading, please click on the click to read a short blog post that I recently came across. http://www.foreverymom.com/mother/

The blog posted above is the harsh reality of foster care. I am continuously conflicted and I feel so many emotions at once. I am so angry at his birth mom for making the choices she did and leaving this baby's life in limbo. I am enraged when I see that she is in jail again. More than my anger, I am sad, my heart breaks for her. She has never seen him crawl, she has never fed him baby food, she has never rocked him to sleep, she has not gotten to do so many things that I have. I am eternally grateful that I was chosen to join the crazy world of foster care and that I was chosen to be his momma. It has been the most difficult ten months I have ever had, I have been at my weakest, and I have also been at my best. I have ugly cried more times than I can count and I'm not finished yet. I have often times said that I do not believe I am strong enough to do this but it amazes me because I always come through stronger than before. That isn't because of anything I did except surrender my life to Christ. Like the woman in the blog, I was given a gift, the gift of the Holy Spirit.

Tomorrow is another first for us, our sweet boy's first Thanksgiving! My heart is so full knowing that we get to celebrate another holiday with him. We have had ten months with our sweet boy and we have cherished every single second. Our house is full of laughter, hugs, kisses, snuggles, stories, and prayers. Our sweet boy giggles constantly and has a smile that is contagious. He melts your heart with his precious grin and his wide, curious eyes. We are blessed beyond belief to have the opportunity to be his mommy and daddy. When he reaches for me and lays his head against my chest my heart skips a beat. There is no greater feeling than being a momma and knowing for that moment that everything in the world is as perfect as can be.
*Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
1Thessalonians 5:16-18

For everyone who prays for us, we thank you. It means the world to us that you take time to remember us and to lift us up in prayer.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Ten Months

Ten months ago today we were home on a snow day and we received a phone call that changed us forever. Ten months ago today I met the sweetest boy who stole my heart and I became a momma. Today, I am home on a snow day watching my sweet ten month old boy crawl all over, pull up, take a few steps, and eat big boy food. I never knew I was capable of loving someone the way that I love him. When I walked into the hospital ten months ago and saw that precious baby laying there I was changed. My whole world shifted to that tiny boy. That sweet boy isn't as tiny anymore but he has my heart.

I recently heard Garth Brooks new song, "Mom." I was an absolute mess listening to this beautiful song. It wasn't a coincidence that my phone rang ten months ago for this sweet baby, God knew all along I was supposed to be his momma. A verse in the song says "So hush now little baby, don't you cry cause there's someone down there whose only goal in life is to make sure you're alright." I constantly think about my sweet baby when I'm not with him, I wonder what he is doing, if he is ok, and count down the minutes until I can see him again.

We have had a rough week with sickness and it has broken my heart. He started with a cold, then had belly issues, and ended with a fever and earache. I wanted to make him all better but I couldn't. I couldn't heal him but we had lots of extra snuggle time which was wonderful for both of us. Last night he couldn't sleep so we were standing at the window watching the snow fall. He kept moving his hands and I snuggled him a little closer and his sweet, chunky hand wrapped around my finger and he went right to sleep. Moments like that fill my heart with so much joy and happiness. I never knew being a momma would be this wonderful.

We have enjoyed our day off today and it's hard to think that just ten months ago we were sitting here with a new baby. We still have a long way to go but are enjoying every minute of our time together. Please keep praying for everyone involved.

 What is this stuff momma?

Growing Too Fast

Our sweet boy had his 9 month check up last week and he is doing great! He is 22 lbs and 9 oz! No wonder my back hurts! He is on the go and there is no slowing him down. He is onto the next thing before I can blink my eyes. He is a ball of energy and so much fun! He constantly has us laughing. He has figured out there are some things he isn't allowed to have and always finds a way to get them with a big mischievous grin on his face.
Our sweet boy is a lion for Halloween and he is the cutest lion  I have ever seen. We had a family birthday party last night and we dressed up as lion tamers. Our beautiful niece was also a lion because she wanted to match our sweet boy. Today was a beautiful day and we spent lots of time outside. We went to the park and spent sometime in our backyard. I love watching my sweet boy explore. He is so curious and I can constantly see the wheels in his head turning.
Our sweet boy is such a blessing. He is such a good baby and makes everyone smile. He has the best personality and makes me so happy. I am so thankful God chose me to be his momma (at least for now).

 These chunky legs are ready to walk!

Best part of my day is snuggling with my boy!

 Sweet chubby hands!

Perfect Weekend

I was off work Thursday and Friday for fall break and I was so thankful for an extended weekend. Thursday was a lazy day and those are always needed! I was surprised Friday morning with a trip to get a massage which was amazing! We were very thankful to have the opportunity spend a lot of time with friends and family while we were off.
Today was wonderful! We went to church and our sweet boy was perfect. We had lunch with friends after and he was quite the entertainer. We played for awhile when we got home and then all 3 of us put on our comfy clothes and snuggled up in bed together. Our sweet boy took an extra long nap and mommy and daddy might have had one too! It was so nice for all of us to be snuggled up together just enjoying our time together. I am sad that our break is over but I know we need to get back into routine. 
Our weekend was so different after having the news from court. We were both so much more relaxed and at ease. We know our sweet boy will be here with us through the holidays and we are so blessed to have that time with him. He is as rotten as they come but I wouldn't have it any other way :)

Our sweet boy looked so handsome in his plaid button up and jeans :)

A Real Update

I finally received some information regarding court. Yay! The worker told me that a paternity test has been ordered (finally) and that neither parent showed up for court on Monday. To me, this speaks volumes about how "invested" they are. We will continue with no visits which is a relief to us! With everything that has happened we did not think visits would start again but you just never know. We have gone almost two months without a visit  and it has been wonderful!
We are so thankful that it seems to be moving in the right direction. We know we still have a long road ahead of us and things can change but for right now we are beyond happy. Our God is an awesome God and we know he's not finished with us yet!

This boy was all smiles when he heard the news :)

Update

I would love to give you an update except I don't really have one. I have emailed and called with no response. Our worker did respond and all he said was he didn't know anything so he is assuming everything is the same. That is not a good enough answer for me so I am hoping the supervisor who attended court will contact me tomorrow. If not, I will continue to call her until she talks to me! Persistence is key!
We appreciate your prayers and everyone who has asked about court. We are praying for good news tomorrow!!!

Please Pray

Court is tomorrow! Ugh I hate court days! We ask that you pray for clarity for everyone involved and our sweet boy is the priority. Through all of the craziness one of the workers has quit so someone new will be representing the case in court and we pray they have all of the necessary information.

We have had a wonderful weekend with our sweet boy. Full of laughs, snuggles, and fun! He is growing so quickly and he brings so much happiness to our life. The thought crossed my mind tonight as I was rocking him, what if I don't have many more days of doing this? He is ours in every meaning of the word except he truly isn't "ours." We could be told he is going home and that would be it, no more snuggles, no more giggles, no more kisses, no more anything. It makes me sick to even type that. I just truly cannot imagine life without him but I know that I have to try my best to be prepared for anything. God knows our hearts and knows our desires. We would love more than anything to be his forever mama and dada. It has been almost 9 months since we laid eyes on a handsome 6 pound 2 ounce baby boy that has become our everything. That day was filled with so many emotions but the greatest emotion was love. I had never loved someone in the way that I was immediately in love with him. I knew from the moment I saw him my life would never be the same. I had always wanted to be a mama but in that instant I became a mama. My days revolve around him and I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Chaos would be a great way to describe the past few weeks with the case and we pray that everything is settled very soon. Tomorrow is a big day and it could go several different ways. We know that God is in control and when we hand everything over to Him great things happen. We ask that you pray for us and strength through the day. I am always waiting on pins and needles and we may have to wait until Tuesday for information. More than anything we ask that you pray for our sweet boy and his wellbeing. I will update when we receive information!`